Episode 13 - Recovering from a PhD Program: The 5 Stages
What are the stages that a person goes through when recovering from a PhD Program or an Educational Program? On this episode, I share the five stages that I went through when recovering from my PhD Program!
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Here is a transcription of Episode 13:
0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast. I'm your host Dr. G!
0:24: On this episode of Broke PhD Podcast, I share about the five stages that I went through while recovering from my PhD program.
0:31: As I will continue to say over and over and over again, going through a PhD program or any type of educational program is not an easy feat. I personally am still going through a recovery process after completing my PhD program. I find that that's something that doesn't always get talked about before somebody embarks on an educational program. And so I wanted to focus this episode on talking about what happens after you complete a PhD program or an educational program and what experience you might go through while recovering after completing those programs.
1:06: So for me, I felt like I went through five stages of a recovery process. The first stage, I want to call The Euphoric Stage. At this point, you have just completed your program, you've accomplished something that is very hard and very difficult to do and you are at the high or the apex or the peak in this process. You are feeling so proud of yourself and you're probably overwhelmed by so much joy and so much happiness, and you are just feeling a sense of euphoria. For me, after finishing my PhD program, I was just in awe with myself of what I accomplished what I was able to get through and finally getting to that finish line just felt like a relief and I was just overwhelmed by so much joy. Especially when going through my graduation ceremony and with receiving my degree in the mail and seeing my name printed and knowing that it was official and I had finished the program that I had set out to complete.
2:11: So after the euphoric stage kind of ends and the happiness and the high is kind of over, is when you enter into stage two. And stage two, I like to call The Withdrawal Stage. So for me, I've been in academia for most of my life. So after receiving and earning my PhD, I started to have those thoughts of “ohh, wait, I am at the apex and this is a terminal degree and this is this is it.” This is the highest degree I will earn in my field. So that really means no more school. No more education in regards to going through a formal program for me. And not gonna lie I am a person who loves school and I love going through educational programs and I love learning and so while I'm still going to grow and learn as an individual and expand my mind in my own time, going through the formalities and the process that is an educational program for me was over.
3:09: After the withdrawal stage, and after realizing that this part of my life was essentially over and done, I then went into stage 3. And stage 3 for me was The Depressive Stage. All of these sad emotions and all of these negative emotions and all of these unbearable emotions started to rush in. I realized that I had wrapped my purpose and wrapped who I was so much in being a student that without being in an educational program and with completing my PhD, I felt like I had no direction and didn't know where to turn. And I share this so that you out there can learn from this and try to make sure that you remember who you are and remember that you are more than just the positions or the educational programs or the jobs that you take on. And I know I reminded myself throughout that I'm more than a student. I'm more than my educational degree. But it had become such a big part of my life and my every day, that unfortunately, you just get sucked in and get wrapped up in it. And so with it not being there anymore, I did find myself feeling kind of lost. And this is something that I'm still working through right now. I am just eight months past earning my PhD, so it's not like it's something that's going to happen overnight. It is a process. And recognizing that I am an individual and I have multiple facets that can exist about myself is something that I'm beginning to realize over time so that I can grow as an individual and step into my own self. And so the Depressive Stage was really hard for me. Because I didn't feel like I wanted to do anything. I was starting to lose interest in some of the things I had loved to do. Managing day-to-day task was also hard. And then during this Depressive State, on top of everything, not having a job was something that added to it. So as most of you probably know the job market right now is not the greatest. So I've been on the job hunt since last year and still nothing has come up. And so that added to the spiraling of being in this Depressive Stage because I had these thoughts and these expectations for myself and I did not meet them at the certain time frame that I had set for myself. This Depressive Stage is still something that I'm working through. Depression is not something that just disappears and once you get over it, you're cured. It's something that you have to constantly work through and utilize coping mechanisms that can support you while working through them. It's something that can pop up and be triggered by various things. And so I am giving myself so much grace and using my coping mechanisms, trying to really lean in with being gentle with myself, which is hard for me to do, especially because I am my own worst critic and I am my own harshest expectation outliner and I really push myself sometimes a little too hard. And so that's something that I'm still working through is this stage 3, The Depressive Stage.
6:21: So going into the next stage, for stage 4, I call it The Reflective Stage. So in this stage I personally have just been sitting and reflecting and thinking about my own experiences. And trying to focus my thoughts and really understand who am I after and post PhD. So I just started journaling more. I started writing down notes in my phone. I started writing down notes on word documents on my computer. And sometimes just sitting with my thoughts. And just letting my thoughts just wash over me and trying to understand where are they coming from? Where are they trying to guide me towards? What is my new purpose? And I know this sounds like a really big question that I'm asking myself. After The Depressive Stage, that's kind of where I wound up was more of a Reflective Stage. Trying to understand who I am as an individual. Really getting down to the basics of what are my likes, what are my dislikes, what are my hobbies, what are my passions and what could I see myself doing for years and years and years and years to come? And so again, life is not a linear journey as I've shared in other podcasts. My path is not one that's meant to be linear. I know it's going to have zigzags and go all over the place and go up and down. And so in the reflective state, I really just wanted to center myself and figure out what can I do right now? What can I control about myself right now and help myself just experience more joy and live in more happiness? And so this stage is kind of where the podcast came to be and where the podcast shop came to be because I recognize that while I can't control some external factors, there are some things that I can navigate and I can take charge of. And so I wanted to do all that I can to bring in more joy and more happiness for myself.
8:22: And so after being in The Reflective Stage, I found myself moving into stage five, which was The Restorative Stage. So in The Restorative Stage, I found myself taking more action. And trying to be proactive about restoring my mental health, restoring my physical health, restoring my well-being, restoring the perceptions I have of myself, restoring the expectations I had of myself, and really just recognizing that life is short and there's so much that I want to do, so why not try it? I called The Restorative Stage kind of “my yes phase” because I really just wanted to say yes to as many things as I could. I didn't want to turn down opportunities. And so I figured if not now, then when? And so why not just try it? And this was a stage that I started to put more action behind my podcast, put more action behind my shop. So in this stage, I am starting to build up my small business with Broke PhD Podcast and Broke PhD Podcast Shop because I figured why not? I've always wanted to try my hand at being a small business owner and so this is the perfect time and why not, again, “my yes phase.” And then in regards to mental health, just having outlets and being more open and making sure that I take time for myself and be more intentional with taking time for myself. And when I start to feel overwhelmed, say it's OK if I can't accomplish everything on my list for that day that there'll be the next day. And if it's not the next day, then it's a task that can wait for a little bit longer and that's OK. I have realized that in the past, I've put so much pressure on myself to do it all and be superwoman, and I don't have to do that. I know we're all living in our Soft Girl Era, and I'm really leaning into that and I'm really leaning into the Restorative Stage, but also The Depressive Stage and the Reflective Stage are simultaneously existing at times. Sometimes there'll be triggers and I will just be overwhelmed by negative emotions and negative thoughts and just feel paralyzed. And tap into that reflective stage so I can restart those positive mental thoughts, so then I can get myself back into that Restorative Stage.
10:41: So the five stages of recovering from a PhD program or an educational program were Stage 1 – The Euphoric Stage, Stage 2 – The Withdrawal Stage, Stage 3 – The Depressive Stage, Stage 4 – The Reflective Stage, and Stage 5 – The Restorative Stage. After hearing about these five stages that I went through, I would love to hear about your own experience. Have you personally gone through five stages of recovery for going through an educational program, or have you gone through a whole different set of stages? Please feel free to share out via the podcast website – brokephdpodcast.com – or via any of the social media outlets as I would love to hear about your own experiences. Now you might have listened to this and thought I didn't go through this, I was perfectly fine going through my educational program and I give you so much kudos and so much credit for that because for some of us, that's not the case. And for others listening, you might have said “ohh, I went through 5, 6, 7, 8 stages after recovering from my educational program.” And again, your path and my path may not look identical and that's OK. As I said at the beginning of this episode, and I will continue to shout, going through an educational program of any sort is not an easy feat. So I want you to know that you are not alone and that we can build this community and go through these programs collectively.
12:09: I wanna thank you for tuning in And also I'm gonna put the plug out there, so I ask you all to please, please, please go check out my shop with the website being – brokephdpodcast.shop – and to also share it with anyone and everyone you know. I am excited to share my art and to share my creativity with the world, and I hope it brings you all as much joy as it brought me in creating it.
12:34: Well, that concludes this episode. But I'm so excited to have you on this journey with me! So please click that like or that subscribe button and please check out the website – brokephdpodcast.com – to continue to follow along. I'm your host, Dr. G, and I hope you have a wonderful day!