Episode 3 - Microaggressions
Have you had to deal with any microaggressions along your PhD or graduate school Journey? I know I have! On this episode, I share about the four main microaggressions I have had to deal with along my PhD journey. I also ask each of you to please share about your own experiences.
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Here is a transcription of Episode 3:
0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. G.
0:23: On this episode of Broke PhD podcast, I share about some of the microaggressions I have experienced along my doctoral journey.
0:32: For the context of this episode, I view microaggressions as being either prejudice based actions or comments that are made towards an individual that is from a marginalized group. Sometimes these comments are shared or these actions are conducted in a subconscious manner without malicious intent, but other times that may not be the case. Personally, I've experienced microaggressions my entire life. They've come from people who share a similar cultural background as myself. And they've come from people whose cultural background has been different from my own. Unfortunately, when beginning my doctoral program, I was fully expecting to encounter microaggressions or those off comments and actions as they have become a normal occurrence for me. I do want to note that while they have become a regular occurrence for me, it does not make them normal and it does not make them OK to occur.
1:34: When I sit and reflect about my experiences during my doctoral program, there have been four main microaggressions that have stood out. The first microaggression centered around comments being made about my speaking skills. The most common comment that I received was “You are so well spoken.” I would always retort with “this is just how I speak,” but in my mind I would often have the thought of, “well what is someone who looks like me supposed to sound like.” The comment of “you are so well spoken,” while on the surface may appear to be a compliment, when unpacked and pondered on a bit longer alludes to the idea that individuals who look like me are expected to sound a certain way, and that apparently I, in my existence, did not match or align with whatever stereotype had been built inside the head of the person, stating the comment. Newsflash! Everyone will speak in their own natural manner. Two individuals may outwardly look similar. Their individualized experiences work to shape them into unique beings. This includes the manner in which these individuals speak. To make a comment on someone being well spoken only alludes to the idea that there is some invisible or unspoken societal standard of how an individual who looks like me is supposed to sound. For me in hearing the comment, “you are so well spoken” it doesn't come off as complimentary, but rather it just reflects an existing implicit bias of the person stating the comment.
3:16: The second microaggression that I commonly encountered along my doctoral journey centered around me being judged based on my outward appearance. When I shared about my educational credentials, people were often shocked or taken aback that I was on the path towards earning my PhD. And even after earning my PhD, someone stated the comment of “oh wow, you have a PhD?” In trying to maintain peace and to not just go off on that person internally, I would have the thoughts “well what does a doctor supposed to look like? Or what does a person with a PhD supposed to look like?” I have tattoos and piercings, and yes, I like to have colorful hair. But does that make me not live up to whatever imagery is supposed to shape what a doctor is supposed to look like? For me the answer is no! There's no cookie cutter image or cookie cutter look that a doctor is supposed to carry. Here in modern times it still baffles me that, as the saying goes, we are judging books by their covers. Everyone is more than their outward appearance. People have layers to them like onions. And if someone's gonna just judge an individual based on the outer layer, then they are missing the opportunity to know who that person is on a deeper level. I will continue to shout it that I am more than my outward appearance. And it's so sad that in today's society, individuals will take one look at a person and assume they know everything about them just in a quick glance. Oftentimes those judgments made in that quick glance are just based in limited perceptions. Now I will say, while I am very confident and proud of who I am, and I've learned to be more secure with myself, I am still human. And being judged based on your outward appearance hurts. Nonetheless, despite how much it hurts, there's still a part of me that does love that in just being my authentic self, I am adding and providing more representation of what doctors and PhD holders can look like.
5:44: The third microaggression that I encountered during my doctoral program centered around my abilities being undercut or being consistently questioned. I would receive comments such as “that might be difficult” or “that might be too challenging for you” and was asked questions such as “are you sure you can handle that?” Or “Are you sure you wanna do that?” As a black woman living here in the United States, I've always had to work twice as hard when trying to obtain something that I have set my mind to. Oftentimes I would receive way less praise or way less recognition than my peers for doing the same, if not more work. So unfortunately, when going through my PhD program, I did not expect it to be any different. I was prepared to have to consistently prove myself over and over again. And to be my own advocate, and to stand up for myself as I feared no one else would. Sadly, my perceptions came to fruition and I had to advocate for myself finding my own opportunities outside of coursework that allowed me to further develop my skills, to grow my CV, and to have opportunities that sometimes my peers were just given. I also had to advocate for myself in order to stay on track for the timeline that I had set for myself, which often differed from the lowered expectations that had been placed on me by others. While, I cannot definitively speak on the reasons that my abilities were undercut or why they were consistently questioned, I do wonder what biases those individuals held that contributed to their incessant urge to even present those comments or questions. Anyone who knows me knows how much of an overachiever by nature I am. Knows how much when I set my mind to something, I will focus and continue to push on to achieve it. It just showed me that the individuals that presented those comments and presented those questions didn't truly know who I was. And again, might have held biases that prevented them from being able to see all of my abilities and all that I am capable of.
8:11: So the 4th microaggression that I encountered has actually kind of morphed into a pet peeve of mine. The fourth microaggression is that I consistently experienced individuals messing up the spelling and/or the pronunciation of my name. My first name is Keshia. It's spelled K-E-S-H-I-A. 6 letters. That's it. Keshia. I love my name and I am proud of my name and I know others feel the same. We are all given our names by our parents or guardians for various reasons. They make up who we are and they are part of our identity. So it irks me when people can't take the time and put in the effort just to spell my name correctly. While, I can admit that there are several ways to spell my name, and that my way of spelling it may not be the most common. I will say that in every written communication, whether it be an e-mail, a text message, or a written post, my name is somewhere in the body of that communication, spelled in its correct form. Which means that an individual may have several reference points to draw from in order to spell my name correctly when they are responding and giving me a reply. Sometimes when it's an e-mail, my name might be in the body of the e-mail, in the display name, in the sender information. Three points of reference in this one e-mail, but still a person misspells my name. For me it just shows the carelessness of the individual and shows that they actually did not take the time or put in any effort to want to try to spell my name correctly. And while it may seem ridiculous and that I'm mad about the wrong thing, I feel like if you had to experience on a regular basis or if you do experience that on a regular basis you can relate to it. It's something so simple, and especially in today's society where we can spell really hard words correctly like onomatopoeia, we should be able to take the time to spell someone's name correctly as well. In addition to individuals spelling my name incorrectly, they would also pronounce it incorrectly. In modern times if you do not know how to say someone's name, just ask. I would gladly provide a phonetic spelling of how to say my name so that you can state it out loud in the correct manner, and I'm sure others will do the same. Again, if we can pronounce these very difficult words like onomatopoeia correctly, then we can pronounce someone's name correctly as well.
11:00: So in summary, the four main microaggressions that I encountered were one, comments being made about my speaking skills, two judgments being made about my outward appearance, three my abilities were undercut or were consistently questioned, and four, I had to consistently experience individuals messing up the spelling and/or the pronunciation of my name. After hearing about the microaggressions I have experienced, I ask you, the listeners, to pause and reflect about any microaggressions you might have experienced first-hand or you might have heard that your peers or colleagues have experienced. I want you to think about have those microaggressions been similar to those that I have experienced? Or have those microaggressions been different from the ones I shared? If you feel comfortable with sharing, please feel free to reach out to me via the podcast website - brokephdpodcast.com - or via any of the social media platforms and share with me about those microaggressions that you experienced or that your colleagues or peers have experienced.
12:07: I also want to note that I share about my experiences with the hopes that even just one listener out there can feel less alone. Embarking on a Graduate School journey or any type of educational journey is not an easy feat. I know I personally felt alone when going through this process, but it helped me when I was able to talk with peers. And it allowed me to realize that others had similar thoughts or experiences. So I call on you, the listeners, to share this podcast with your peers and to engage in conversation with your colleagues so that you all can navigate the journey collectively rather than feeling like you are each braving storms on your own.
12:47: Well, that concludes this episode, but I am so excited to have you on this journey with me. So please hit that subscribe button or that follow button. And again, feel free to check out the podcast website at brokephdpodcast.com to continue to follow along. Thank you for listening and no matter where you are in your own journey, remember YOU GOT THIS! Again, I'm your host, Dr. G, and I hope you have a wonderful day!