Episode 19 - A Conversation with Gillian

This episode features Gillian DiAddezio, your 2025 Ms. American Victory for the Miss American Coed Pageant system! On this episode, Gillian shares about her professional background and being as she deems “a Gillian of all trades.” Additionally, she shares about the positive impact that pageants have had on her life. We also talk about not being afraid of failure, and how this journey called life may not always be a linear path forward.

To connect with Gillian DiAddezio, please feel free to check out her website, connect with her via her social media platforms, and/or reach out to her via email:

Website: GillianDiAddezio.com

Personal Instagram: @gillian_diaddezio

Title/Queen Instagram: @themsvictorycoed

Email: gillian.diaddezio@gmail.com

If you are interested in learning more about the Miss American Coed Pageant system then please check out their website as well: missamericancoed.com

Listen to full episode :

Here is a transcription of Episode 19:

0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast, where we build relationships or kindle emotions with every episode! I'm your host Dr. G!

0:26: On this episode, I talk with Gillian DiAddezio who shares about her professional background and being as she deems “a Gillian of all trades.” Additionally, she shares about the positive impact that pageants have had on her life. And we talk about not being afraid of failure and how this journey called life may not always be a linear path forward.

0:47: [Dr. G] On the podcast today, I have the wonderful Gillian DiAddezio. And if you may not know this, she is also your reigning 2025 Ms. American Victory for the Miss American Coed pageant system. But we will talk about that a little bit later. So I want to say welcome, Gillian.

1:03: [Gillian] Hi! Thank you so much Keshia! It's great to be here!

1:06: [Dr. G] And thank you again for being a guest. And to start off, can you just share with the listeners a little bit about your background so we get to know you a little bit more?

1:14: [Gillian] Well, I first and foremost kind of introduce myself always as a dancer. I’ve been dancing since I was the age of four. So I am a dancer. I spent six years in corporate finance. I have two bachelor's degrees from The Florida State University in psychology and media communications. I was in a circus for three and a half. And now I also teach dance. And I'm a personal trainer and I own a web design business. And I kind of, I guess I'll say I'm a Gillian of all trades.

1:45: [Dr. G.] I was gonna say you're definitely a woman of all trades. Is there anything that you don't do?

1:49: [Gillian] My chiropractor likes to call me the Renaissance woman.

1:52: [Dr. G] Yes! And I love that, I love! You just explaining your background just shows how multifaceted people can be. And so thank you for sharing about that. And I am also excited to ask you to expand on and explain more about what you are doing in present times.

2:09: [Gillian] Well, a lot of things! Yeah, so I still, I do a few things throughout the week, throughout my months, usually. I'm still teaching dance a few times a week. I am a personal trainer at a gym that uses EMS training. So your muscles are getting shocked while you work out for 20 minutes. It's really great, it's super cool and it's unique, which I love to do. And so I do that and then I own a web design business that it’s still kind of in its infancy. It started last year really, and I redesigned or startup websites for people who are in the creative businesses. And, and then in my spare time I helped my boyfriend's company. He owns a company where he builds Ninja Warrior obstacle courses and so I've been doing a lot of creative director type work with his company as well.

2:53: [Dr. G] That is so cool. And I know when we had talked before that what you're doing right now is completely different than what you thought you would be doing ten years ago. I just want to emphasize that for anybody who's listening out there that your path is not always going to be linear. And I think you are a walking example of that. Where you started to where you are now wasn't probably what you thought you'd be at.

3:11: [Gillian] Ohh, absolutely! I went into college totally with the psychology mindset. Like I was gonna go child development. I wanted to be a child psychologist, go for my PhD, but I decided my last year of college that I wanted to take a break. And then I thought, OK, I'll take a break for a year and then I'll come back to my masters and continue on with psychology. And I just never went back. And then I kind of I found my way into a job at the, the wealth management firm and ended up staying there for six years and moved to Texas within that time frame. And all just life happened, right? So I never went back to college, but I do find myself using my psychology degree when I teach dance with the kids. So in a way I'm using it, just not in the way that I thought I would. I'm not a school guidance counselor. I'm not a child therapist or anything like that, but I do still use parts of it in my day-to-day life.

4:02: [Dr. G] That's so cool! Again, just emphasizing that where you started and where you are now that it's not what you thought it was gonna be, but you're still utilizing the things that you went through and the experiences and the information that you gained along the way. That they are still being utilized. And I also just want to emphasize the listeners out there that you don't have to go to the educational route. Like that's not for everybody. And like you said, sometimes you start off and you're like, OK, I do my bachelors and I might do my masters and then you take a break and you're like, actually this, I don't need to do this. I'm gonna do something else and do something greater. And that's OK. That education isn't for everybody. And if it's a path you go, great, keep going. And if it's a path that you choose to walk away from, that's also cool too. So thank you for sharing!

4:42: [Gillian] And you can go back through education in so many different ways too, right? I mean, there's free education out there everywhere now. You can find a YouTube video for just about anything. You can learn so much in a job that you're at. I mean, when I was at the wealth management firm for the six years, I decided to go head first and I was like, well, I'm, I don't know anything about finance, but I'm going to study for the CFA exam. Which several VP's at the firm at the time were saying I would never do that, like that's too hard. Because you have to, the expectation is that you study for 300 hours per exam. There's three levels and you don't get the charter until you pass all three levels. So it roughly takes about, at the time, three to four years to gain that charter and it's kind of just for recognition, I guess, and maybe a pay raise at the end. But I decided that that was the best way for me to learn everything about it, so I went and I took level one of the CFA exam three times. Didn't pass any time of those. But you know, I learned so much and it was a factor of my resilience, I guess, because I kept going. Even though I didn't pass it and I had no background in it whatsoever, and several people at my firm were saying that they would never even try it. So.

5:45: [Dr. G] Oh wow! Yeah, that just emphasizes your perseverance. And again, I was having this conversation with another guest, Shelika actually, and she was saying that her advisor was just saying that people need to be OK with making mistakes and with failing. That, I think as humans we tend to be wary of anything that's gonna push us towards failure or push us way outside of our comfort zone. And so you pushing yourself outside of that limit and going for something that even other higher ups were like ohh I wouldn't do that, just shows that you are willing to push yourself outside to grow as an individual and to just be OK with the possibility of failing. And I can't remember the exact quote, but I definitely hear things swirling around that you can't be afraid of failure and you can't be afraid of failing at something because that's often when you learn a lot about yourself. So I love that you shared that. And to the listeners out there keep that in mind, don't be afraid of failure. It's a part of the journey.

6:40: [Gillian] Absolutely! And that's kind of the sentiment that brought me back to pageantry too. But I took 16 years off from pageants and my, my parents put me in them when I was a kid because I was so shy. They, they said, OK, four year old Gillian, you're going to learn grace and poise and how to talk to kids your own age, here you go. And I didn't know what was going on of course, I'm four years old, but I ended up winning the title of Miss Florida at the time. And that started my journey into pageantry, and I found so many friends and gained confidence and all of that. But I took 16 years off of it. And something inside my brain earlier this year was like, you know what, let's go back, let's see how, how much you've changed, how much you've grown, and I've lived a lot of life in 16 years. So I really wanted to see what that would culminate in on stage again.

7:27: [Dr. G] I love that. And yeah, I'm glad you kind of transitioned into pageantry because that's where we connected that and, you know, to type up the system – Miss American Coed – if you haven't heard about it, go check it out. But, that's where we met in August at the National Pageant and we were part of the, the collection of Comeback Queens, as we wanted to say, because there was a lot of us this past year that had, something was just like, hey, come back this year. And I'm so glad that a lot of us came back and to reconnect because I actually got to meet you and that even though we've been a part of Miss American Coed for years and years and years we've never actually got to meet. And the more I hear about your story, the more I'm like, yes, same, same, same. Like I love your energy and just love everything about you. So I'm so glad that we could connect.

8:08: [Gillian] Girl, as soon as I saw you on the Facebook group, I was like, her and I are going to be friends.

8:12: [Dr. G] I know, I was like YESSSSS!!! And so this is the, this is where we talk about the positive side of pageantry because oftentimes I think pageants sometimes get a bad rap and there's been a lot of bad press and bad media. And there can be those negative sides, but I think both you and I have mostly, I know personally, I’ve experienced positives with pageantry. That it's added so much to our lives in being a part of it and just being around women who support women and who want to empower one another and who just want to empower themselves, and like you said, grow that confidence and grow those skills that otherwise you may not be able to develop sometimes in the real world. So I am here to hype up pageants. And if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me. Feel free to reach out to Gillian. I'll put her contact information in the description box. But again, if you want to just talk about your connection with Miss American Coed specifically, and I know you said that you came back and it has been 16 years, but what does Miss American Coed kind of mean to you? And I know this is like one of those stereotypical pageant questions, but why Miss American Coed? As you would hear like in the pageant interview.

9:14: [Gillian] I was gonna say I feel like I'm back in interview.

9:16: [Dr. G] I know it's like, if you know, you know, like people are like, wait, hold on.

9:21: [Gillian] No one even asked me that this year. So here it is. Why Coed? Well, honestly, it's never been anything but Coed for me. I know there are so many pageant girls that compete in multiple systems and I think that's awesome. I, I don't know. I just never really had that pulled to go anywhere else, maybe because I just felt so fulfilled within this system. And I still keep in touch with friends that I met when I was four and six years old. And you know, one of them being my, my makeup artist for the weekend of nationals. Now she she's come full circle. And it was just, it's, it's so much a feeling of camaraderie that even if you take a decade off, you come back and you see each other and it's like no time has passed. I don't know of too many places, maybe besides college, where you can have that kind of experience with people. You know, you go through that same shared experience that not many people get to go through, and you just have that bond that you can't really explain.

10:12: [Dr. G]  Ohh, yes, I agree. And as we like to say, MAC is family, Miss American Coed is family. I think that's a general sentiment across all of us who are a part, whether you're a current queen or a former queen or a parent or a sibling or anyone that once you're in the MAC family, you're in it for life.

10:28: [Gillian] The MAC Pack yep!

10:29 [Dr. G] The MAC pack! So I guess now that we're talking about pageants and I know you said that you initially were in it because your parents wanted you to kind of learn poise and grace at four years old, to continue to grow and develop your poise and grace over time. But what has pageants kind of done for you and how have they kind of shaped you into the being that you are today?

10:50 [Gillian]  It's really brought out my self-confidence in myself. And more so this year, I think than any other year I've competed because this year was truly for me. I did it as an adult. I made the decision myself. I, I did the entire planning process myself, you know, finding the wardrobe and prepping for interview. And I didn't have my mom there as a coach, you know, as I normally would. And I'm trying to think about it in ways like, OK, how would I go through this process just for me, just for how I want to do this for myself? And it felt really empowering. And yeah, I think to, to bring it back to the question a little bit, it's it's taught me more self-confidence. The poise and grace are kind of a given, right? I mean, you get up on stage and you just feel the lights on you and you instantly throw your shoulders and you’re like, wow, I am powerful, I am awesome. That's short lived because you're only on stage for less than 5 minutes, right? So how can you carry that into your interview? Carry that into the one-on-one conversations with people. Carry that into rehearsals where you're making a fool of yourself in front of all your fellow peers and just having a blast while you do it. And normally I think I would have shied away from experiences like that, because I didn't like to put myself out there. I hated being put on the spot. You know, answering something that I didn't have the perfect response to was so overwhelming for me. But I've learned to push past that and be OK with maybe not saying the perfect thing or, you know, you make a moment of it like, like in a rehearsal and then you make everybody laugh and it ends up being a super fun hour instead.

12:14: [Dr. G] And a bonding moment. Which yes, love that!

12:18: [Gillian] Exactly, you can't really bond unless you're authentic, right? So, authenticity really shines through and I feel like I can see that from other people watching them on stage. And so I wanted to get that same kind of performance and presentation that way people see me and they go ohh, she she's not fake about any of this. She's like in it.

12:36: [Dr. G] Ahhh, you’re going to make me cry over here! I love you so much! And hearing that I'm just like, yes, yes, yes, I'm over here hyping you up. Like get it! And again, just that connector piece, that same kind of situation that I came back this year because I was like, ohh, mostly there was a state pageant in North Carolina. And so I was like, it's in my backyard. Why not? It's been for me 12 years since I last competed and why not? And now that we're in our 30s, I think the different level of confidence that you have in your 30s compared to when you were a teenager, compared to your 20s, it's just like a whole nother level that I've never thought of before. That you, you really stop caring as much about what other people say, but in the best way, because obviously you want to make sure when you're on stage, that you know, like you said, you're shining as your authentic self. But you are truly being able to be yourself. And like you said, you did this all on your own without having a lot of input from others or a lot of like background noise, as might have what have happened in the past, at least my experience, was that there's a lot of background noise, good or bad, and I didn't always feel that I could live in those moments and be present in those moments because there was just so many inputs. But I connect so much with that that this time, this go around, it was all you like same, it was all me doing it. So I love that you decided to like reclaim those moments and honestly, through this experience, I know personally I was like I'm healing inner Keshia through doing this. And so I I love that you were able to just do it your way and do it in a way that, like you felt proud and you felt confident. And ahh, I just love that so much!

14:10: [Gillian] I love it. Yeah. I felt more alive, I think during that week than I have in a while. So it was, it was really telling for me. It was kind of a sign like, OK, this is something I need to be doing more for myself. This is something that makes me feel fulfilled. And I don't know what exactly what little piece of it that is or if it's just all of it put together, but I know that that I was meant to be there.

14:32: [Dr. G] So I love that. I also think with going through pageants that a lot of times people don't realize is that it really forces you to be introspective. That you really have to know yourself in order to communicate to others about yourself. And from what it sounds like, both you and I are probably going through things that we were able to kind of like avoid reflection of self. And so going through this experience and participating in the pageant this year, it forced us to really focus on ohh, wait, where am I? Who am I? What am I going through? How do I feel? You know, where do I think about this or what do I think about that? Because in order to answer those questions in the interview section, you need to really have a true understanding of who you are. And pageants are a good way of, if you're not going to do it yourself, forcing you to figure out who you are.

15:17: [Gillian] Absolutely! And it's funny because I have my psychology background, right? And I'm always analyzing, psychoanalyzing, I guess. But it's usually always other people, right? Not myself. I don't sit there and think, ohh, what do I want? What makes Gillian feel good, you know? But now I'm starting to do that in my 30s, and it feels great.

15:35: [Dr. G] And just, uh, piggyback on that, emphasize that, that self-awareness and self-care and self-prioritization is very important. And I think with pageants, it allows individuals to do that as you've kind of showcased that you were able to have those empowering moments, you were able to have your moment in the spotlight, but then you want to carry that feeling with you into the real world. So it's kind of inspiring you to keep that momentum and to keep that priority and that awareness and that self-love of, of yourself. So yeah.

16:04: [Gillian] I'm actually trying to bring that concept in through my dance students this year. I'm starting a little little something new. I haven't quite built it out yet, but I’m, I'm calling it –

Leaps of Love Cups. And So what I want to try to start doing in some of my classes, maybe with the older kids, the young ones might not understand it yet, but I basically the gist is you have a cup that is your own at the very end of the the room and we go across the floor and we do our dances, you know, usual class type stuff, but every time you have a positive thought about yourself or you give yourself a little compliment, you go over and you can put something in your cup. Then once your cup is filled, you have to put something in someone else's cup. So then the goal is by the end of class to have everybody's cups filled. And then you just have all these positive compliments. And, and I'm trying to decipher what kind of prize I should give at the end or how I can collect all these to really give them a great, I don't know a good something at the end of the year, but that's that's something I'm trying to work on this year to really inspire my students because I know that teenage years can be rough and people are hard on themselves and then other people are also heard on you too. So anything I can do to ease that burden and help people kind of find their own light so they can spread it to others, that's that's what I'm going for.

17:13: [Dr. G] Ohh, I love that! And I love that, that also becomes a visual of literally filling your cup and then filling others because you can't pour into others until you have your own cup filled. That is amazing! And especially doing it at such a pivotal age, especially in the teenage age, of them developing that ability and awareness of, Oh OK, I need to make sure I pour into myself and I kind of flipped those thoughts to be more positive because, yeah, going through that time that there's probably a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of peer pressure and kind of wanting to conform or do other things. And there might be some out there that don't. And I love that, that you walk to the beat of your own drum and I applaud that and we should all continue to encourage that and fill that and make that grow. And so I think doing this is going to be so amazing and so impactful for your students and it's gonna like carry with them and I love that so much.

18:08: [Gillian] Thank you! I hope so. I try to pull from my past teachers. I got to give a shout out to my, one of my best dance instructors ever, Pamela Bolling out in Orlando, FL. She would always, she still does to this day, after every single warm up she has everyone give themselves a big hug and super loud they have to say “I love myself” out into the entire room and I always felt super weird doing it to be honest. Maybe because I didn't fully love myself at the time. But as I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable doing that. And now I'm having my students do that at the beginning of every class too. And they just seem to love it. They're not awkward about it at all because they asked them about it sometimes and they're like, no, this is great. We love saying we love ourselves. So it's wonderful. And I'm hoping that I can combine that with the Leaps of Love Cups and just fully create this environment of, of self love.

18:53: [Dr. G] I love that! Ohh, that's amazing! I'm so excited for that. And thank you for sharing that. And I'm hoping that that is going to just impact your students. And I know it will because it just sounds amazing and I wish I did that. Now I'm gonna have to go around and like give myself hugs and say I love myself even though I'm not in a dance class!  Seriously! Now that we are towards the end of our conversation, are there any takeaways or words wisdom that you want to share with the listeners.

19:19: [Gillian] Just that one, It's never too late to do what you wanna do. And don't compare your timeline to somebody else's. I lived so long with that, and I was always like, why are they further along than me? I thought I'd had this by this age and blah, blah, blah. But it doesn't matter. You know what you're meant to do will find you at some point. So I know this is kind of an overused phrase - but trust the process. And then just let the timeline happen how it's supposed to. What is meant for you will come to you.

19:46: [Dr. G] I love that so much. And I'm just, I'm, I'm cheering in the background silently so that I don't block the audio. But ohh, I love that so much that yeah, that what is meant to be will be. And as hard as it's to hear over and over again, trust the process because things will work out as they should. And I love that so much. So thank you for sharing that.

20:04: [Gillian] Thank you!

20:05: [Dr. G] Thank you again for being a guest on the podcast! And I am so grateful for you being here.

20:11: [Gillian] Thank you! This was so much fun! We'll have to definitely do this again!

20:14: Well, that concludes this episode, but I am so excited to have you on this journey with me. And if you've enjoyed this conversation that I've had with Gillian and you want to hear more episodes or learn more about Broke PhD Podcast, then please check out the website –

brokephdpodcast.com – to continue to follow along. And wherever you are on your own journey, remember – YOU GOT THIS! I'm your host, Dr. G, and I hope you have a wonderful day!