Episode 20 - A Conversation with Dr. Michelle Gibbs: Part 1

This episode features Dr. Michelle Gibbs, also known as Mrs Mummy PhD. On this episode, Dr. Gibbs, shares about her background and her inspiration for wanting to start Mrs Mummy PhD. Additionally, she shares some strategies that she uses to aid her with maintaining a balance with managing all of the facets and areas of her life. Lastly, during this part of our conversation, Dr. Gibbs shares about how she is navigating her present life, navigating motherhood, navigating the world of academia, and navigating her professional role of being a dietician. This episode is part one of a two part segment, so be sure to also listen to the rest of our conversation in part two (Episode 21).

To connect with Dr. Michelle Gibbs, please feel free to check out her website, connect with her via her social media platforms, and/or reach out to her via email:

Website: mrsmummyphd.com

Instagram: @mrsmummyphd

Email: contact@mrsmummyphd.com

Listen to full episode :

Here is a transcription of Episode 20:

0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast, where we build relationships or kindle emotions with every episode! I'm your host Dr. G!

0:26: On this episode, I talk with Dr. Michelle Gibbs, also known as Mrs Mummy PhD and during our conversation, Dr. Gibbs shares about her background and her inspiration for wanting to start Mrs Mummy PhD. Additionally, she shares some strategies that she uses to aid her with maintaining a balance with managing all of the facets and areas of her life. Lastly, during this part of our conversation, Dr. Gibbs shares about how she is navigating her present life, navigating motherhood, navigating the world of academia, and navigating her professional role of being a dietician. This episode is part one of two parts, so be sure to also listen to the rest of our conversation in part two.

1:13: [Dr. G] On the podcast today, I am excited to welcome Dr. Michelle Gibbs, or as you guys might know her, Mrs Mommy PhD, so welcome, Dr. Gibbs.

0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast, where we build relationships or kindle emotions with every episode! I'm your host Dr. G!

1:23: [Dr. Gibbs] Thanks for having me! Finally, we got to do this!

1:26: [Dr. G] I know, I’m so excited! Thank you again for being a guest on the podcast. And I'm so excited for you to just share with my listeners, I know you're listeners know you love you, but can you give a background so that my listeners and those that might be hearing this episode can get to know you a little bit more.

1:42: [Dr. Gibbs] Yeah, so like you said, I am online as Mrs Mummy PhD and that name carries a lot of significance for me because in navigating my own doctoral journey, I did that as a wife and began my PhD as a mum of one. And by the time I finished my PhD I was a mum of three. So I, you know, really had to find a way to navigate my journey, to do it in a way that felt good for me, that felt comfortable, was manageable, and to see it through to completion while also being a present mom, a wife, and just enjoying home life as well, like my real life outside of academia. So that's where the whole Mrs Mummy PhD comes from. I am a dietitian by profession and I also support Mamas’ who are navigating PhD journeys, doctoral journeys, and doing so alongside mothering and, you know, in navigating their relationships. And so I feel really passionate about that because I feel like, you know, we should be able to do this without having to choose. We should be able to excel in our academic pursuits and our career goals and at the same time be able to enjoy motherhood and, and be, you know present for our families. So that's where Mrs Mummy PhD came from.

3:09: [Dr. G] Ohh,  I love that so much! And yeah, just to hype that up and to emphasize that for everyone listening out there, that you shouldn't be pigeonholed. That if you are pursuing a PhD and you want a family and you want to be a mom, you, you can do both. That you shouldn't have to choose. Like you said that you shouldn't just have to be forced to pick one or the other, and that seems like impossible to do collectively because you are walking proof that you can do it. And there's so many out there too that are doing it too.

3:37: [Dr. Gibbs] Yes, absolutely! And I think really it's about not even just being able to do it, but being able to do it well and being able to do it in a way that doesn't, you know, cost you your health or well-being, you know, and, and also the things that you love outside of, of PhD life, because, you know, PhD life can be all consuming at times. And, you know, it's really about having those boundaries and being able to say, look, I am doing a PhD, but I'm also, you know, a mum. I'm also a wife. I'm also, I also love, you know, I've also got hobbies and I love doing other things outside of this PhD and just being able to navigate that without burn out and, you know, resentment towards the PhD is really important as well, I think.

4:25: [Dr. G] Yes! And I want to ask a follow-up question for that is how do you find that balance or what are some tools or strategies that you use to maintain a balance between all of the facets in your life?

4:39: [Dr. Gibbs] Yeah, So I always say to people that, you know, there's always a cost. I think with everything in life, there's always a cost. So in doing my PhD the way that I did it, there was a cost to me like I did my PhD part time and because of that it took me eight years to finish my PhD. But, for me, the, the gains of being able to do that, being able to enjoy family life, grow our family, you know, build those memories together. For me, that was worth it. But I wouldn't say to anyone that, you know, there's not a cost, there's not a price. There is a price. It's just whether you are willing to pay that price. And so to answer your question about, you know, what helped me to navigate this journey. It was making that tough decision of doing my PhD part time. You know, I started my PhD when there were other colleagues and people in the same department as me who then went on and finished and I was still there. I was still there navigating my, my PhD journey. And you know, I won't lie, there were times where I thought, ohh, my goodness, like, am I ever going to finish this PhD? Am I ever going to be the one who is graduating? Who's done? Is that ever going to come my way? And there were times where I couldn't see that. And it was really hard for me. But I really, you know, when I look back on it now, I think you know what, Michelle, that was the right way for you to do it because you were able to do so many other things while you were also navigating your PhD journey. So choosing part time, that was one thing that helped me. Also, really just prioritizing what mattered to me, being really clear on what my priorities were was really important for me to do that and not only being clear on those priorities, but being prepared to set boundaries to protect those priorities. I think that was really important for me as well. So, you know, there were times where I missed departmental events and I missed, you know, I missed out on, on things within the department, but that was intentional for me and that was there was a reason behind that. And I don't look back on that with any regrets. And so, yeah, that was another thing that really helped. And then the basic things of time management. And you know, actually, I even say to people if you are struggling with managing your time have a think about potentially not managing time so much, but managing your energy. You know, what are the things that are draining your energy? What are the things that are fueling your energy and really motivating you to keep going? What are those things? And getting really clear on those things. And then when you sit down to plan your actual time when you sit down to plan your, your weekly diary or calendar, then do that with those priorities in mind. Set time aside for rest. Set time aside for PhD work. Set time, set time aside for, you know, other paid work or employment if you've got that. Set time aside for family, like really do that in the context of those priorities. I think that is so important because if you don't do that, the temptation is circumstances are going to dictate how you're spending your time as opposed to you deciding with intention how you want to spend your time. So I always say to people, focus on the energy management first, identify and be really clear on their priorities, and then plan time around that.

8:11: [Dr. G] Ohh, I love that! I don't think I've heard energy management before and I think that's, I don't know, it's so mind blowing for me right now because I'm like, ohh, I'm taking this in I'm writing this note down for myself, but that that's a good way of putting that because it's so true that you have to kind of do that introspection and figure out, OK, where is my energy level and what is helping me and what's not helping me because you don't want to be kind of ruled or controlled by circumstances like you said that you have to make sure that you are able to show up in the capacity that benefits you and that helps you grow and that works for you. And so ohh, I love that! I'm writing that down. I hope you all out there listening to this are writing that down too. Energy management again, you heard it here from Dr. Michelle Gibbs, energy management. But to continue on, can you share kind of more about the work that you're doing now, I know you mentioned your dietitian, as well as kind of where you are in your PhD journey as well as life journey. We're trying to expand this scope of Broke PhD Podcast to share more about life experiences. So if you want to touch upon any of those facets and areas.

9:21: [Dr. Gibbs] So yeah, I think you know my professional life is, is, is also quite dear to me. I’ve worked really hard to establish my career and work. And I'm still working at that. I'm still growing in that area and developing my knowledge and my skills and, you know, taking my career forward. In terms of Mrs Mummy PhD, the aim of that, I guess moving forward is to continue to help Mamas’ who are navigating PhD journeys and juggling all the things, all the hats, and helping them to what I call finish well. And finishing well is not just about the titles and the accolades, even though we'll take those right, but also really finishing with well-being at the center of that, with joy at the center of that, you know, really just enjoying all the things that motherhood can bring and the joys of family life, so that's Mrs Mummy PhD. And in terms of like home life, like we're just enjoying the boys. We've got three boys. We're just enjoying them growing up. Our eldest is in secondary school, he's a teenager, so we've got, you know, navigating those terrains and then we've got the youngest is a toddler so he hasn't even started school yet. We're just, you know, just finished the potty training and all that stuff. So yeah, we've got our hands full and you know, I wouldn't honestly have it any, any other way, to be honest.

10:53: [Dr. G] Ohh, that, that is the range, yeah teenagers to toddlers. That sometimes though, I feel it's not much difference, even though there's an age difference. But I love that and touching back to what you shared about what you're doing with Mrs Mommy PhD, of just encouraging those out there to find the joy in all the things that they're going through and to finish well. That right there, I love that too, because I think sometimes you go through the process, whether you're, you know, doing your PhD or whether you're trying to achieve something in your professional life. Or you're achieving something in your personal life, you have a certain goal of of that that you're trying to reach, whether it is potty training a toddler, which is very difficult. That you just go through the motions and when you get to the end goal, then you're like, OK, it's done. But trying to be present in those moments and trying to, like you said, find the joy in those moments, I think can just make it more meaningful and become such a, a more joyful experience to use the word joy again. But love that that is so intentional to just find the joy in things because I think, yeah, we focus on the end goal and we're like, OK, we get the accolades, like you said, which we want and we get the end results. But you may not be present through all of those motions that you're just going through it just to go through it. But yeah, take time. Be present.

12:08: [Dr. Gibbs] I, I recently shared on my podcast this experience I had of going through, we went to Barbados, I’m from Barbados, as you can probably tell from my accent, but we, we went there in the summer and we went into this cave and it was so dark and it was, you know, it was literally this really steep cave and at the beginning, like it was dark and I couldn't see anything and the temptation was to just look down. Just look down. Make sure you're not misstepping, make sure you're not sliding and slipping. And you know The cave was dark because you were just looking down. And then I thought actually to navigate this cave, I better start looking to see where I'm going. So I started to look up and look around and as I did that, The cave literally just lit up because there was this literal like hole in the rock. And through that hole it was like this beam of sunlight. It was so beautiful. And that hole was looking out to the ocean. It was the most beautiful thing. And then you can just see the kind of shadows in the cave. And what that made me realize was just like navigating a PhD journey as a mum, if you just keep your head down and you don't actually come up for air, you don't come up for breath, you don't take breaks, you don't look up to see and enjoy everything that's around you, you are going to just stay in that darkness. You will not actually enjoy the journey. And so in order to enjoy the journey and to really, you know, take in all it has to offer, you've got to hold your head up. You've got to come up for light. You've got to come up for air. And you’ll realize when you do that, that there's so much light at the end of this tunnel. And it's, you know, it's within reach. And so I try to encourage Mamas’ who are on this journey to, you know, take a moment to really stop and think, where am I? Where do I wanna go? And how can I get from here to there without having to just look down in darkness? How can I get from here to there and embrace the light?

14:07: [Dr. G] Ohh, I love that analogy! And I love that you were able to kind of physically go through that analogy too of going through the cave and experiencing ohh, if I keep looking down, it looks dark but the moment you lifted your head, you were able to see the light and see all that was around you. That was the beauty of what you described, too.  Ohh. I love, I love that analogy because I think that yeah, that's so important because again, sometimes you just want to truck through and you want to just push on through and you know, grudge through and OK, I gotta do this, I gotta finish this. I gotta get there. I gotta get to my dissertation. I gotta do this. I gotta finish this class, do this paper, finish this assignment and not stopping to think about ohh, well, what am I learning from this? What am I gaining from this? What is this aiding me in my own journey? What takeaways can I add to my repertoire from this? What is this supposed to help me with in the future? That making those connections will be so beneficial for you as you make it to whatever your own end goals are? And again, being present in the moment, I think is difficult, especially in today's world where it's always hustle and bustle. Go, go, go. You gotta achieve this. You gotta do that. And time goes so quickly, like we talked about before we started is that this year here in 2024 seems like we were just in January yesterday. And so everything seems to be moving so fast that you sometimes don't feel like you can come up for air because it seems to be moving at a rapid pace. But you have to stop and pause and take that moment and lift your head and come up for air like you said, and just take it all in. Oh, oh, yes, yes, dropping knowledge here. I love it! I'm writing these things down. I'm going to go back and like transcribe everything that you just said because I'm like, ohh, yes, that that it's always those moments and this is where, like a segue, it’s always those moments that you don't realize the information or the messages that you were supposed to hear until you hear it from somebody. And it's like, ohh, yep!

16:04: [Dr. Gibbs] So true! It happens to me as well. Like sometimes I have these conversations with people and I'm like, ohh, that was a gem!

16:10: [Dr. G] And then you're like, oh, Oh yep, that. I'm supposed to hear that message. I hope those out there, this is the message you're supposed to hear.

16:17: Well, that concludes this episode but I am so excited to have you on this journey with me. I hope you have enjoyed part one of this two-part segment of a conversation with Dr. Michelle Gibbs and please tune in to part two to hear the rest of our conversation. If you loved hearing this conversation and you would like to hear more or learn more about Broke PhD Podcasts, then please check out the website – brokephdpodcast.com – to continue to follow along. Again, I'm your host, Dr. G, and I hope you have a wonderful day!